Sessions & Lessons from Sabbatical

How it Started…

In January of 2016 I was burned out.  We had undertaken a huge remodel project the previous year, which I foolishly attempted to manage in addition to my full time lead pastor responsibilities. Over the previous 15 months, we were beginning yet another staff transition and I had recently begun pursuing a masters level education program. All of these areas piled onto my 8.5 years of full time ministry, coupled with my prideful resistance to make time to truly rest and recuperate on a regular basis, left me questioning my calling and gift to pastoral ministry. In my darkest moments, Sunday mornings brought anxiety and pain instead of joy and excitement.  I was suffering from panic attacks at moments that should have been restful and my emotional state of being was fractured, leaving my moments of joy almost manic and my moments of sorrow, crushing.  It was in these moments that the Holy Spirit asserted Himself and helped me understand that I couldn’t make any determinations about my future in this clouded broken state of being.

In February I reached out to my good friends in ministry who helped me to share my thoughts and feelings with the Elders of Oasis Community Church. Upon hearing my struggles, the elders graciously asked “How can we help?” rather than “What happened?” That simple yet kind response spoke volumes. 

Our agreed upon solution was a three month sabbatical to coincide with the summer months, where I’d get more time with my family, as my wife and children were on vacation from school and work.  Our church planting network ACTS29 graciously covered the cost of personal coaching from Cross Point Ministries during this time. The focus of my sabbatical was simply to rest. It was intended that all ministry responsibilities both regular and emergency would be lifted from me so I would be free to recalibrate with no expectations. It was during this intentional time of rest that I learned some of the most impactful lessons. I hope you’ll join me today as I share:

1. Being not Doing. 

This feels like a no brainer, but honestly I had lost the art of just being Jesus’ disciple.  My prayer and devotional life were laid on the alter of the “To Do” list.  Growing in grace and discernment traded for “successful ministry metrics”.  Freed from many of the (self) imposed burdens of what I thought ministry was I was able to get back to being a Christian, daily pursuing Jesus as the first affection of my heart and the first allegiance of my mind.  I know re-entry into ministry will bring the temptation to cast this lesson aside often and I am sure I will fail, but the beautiful thing about understanding this truth deeply is that once you sit with Jesus and embrace his presence daily you can more quickly recognize when you’ve left it. 

2. Mindfulness 

As I mentioned above, my emotional calibration severely affected by my burnout.  I’m an emotional person to begin with, but my lack of real rest had left me on the ragged edge at all times. I found myself reacting all the time without giving myself any time to respond to people and circumstances. In the best of circumstances this had me reacting to things on the fly and in the worst of circumstances blowing my top over trivial or minor problems.  When discussing this with my sabbatical coach he recommended a book that became a great tool in understanding both my current condition and provided some helpful tools to combat it.  The most helpful tool was the process of developing mindfulness.  While it’s roots come from eastern philosophy and religion, the principle of transforming your mind comes right out of scripture, practicing the skill of mindfulness enabled me to slow down and process the emotions that would flare in me and allow my mind and thoughts to catch up before responding. 

3. Receiving Grace  

My burnout was a result of many of my faults, but one that became very clear in the first few days was my inability to receive the grace that I would often preach so passionately about.  Forced into resting, I was faced with wrestling my own pride and refusal to admit I couldn’t handle or do it all.  I had to admit I couldn’t. That I am a creature in need. That I am dependent just as all of God’s people are. Being freed from the responsibilities of doing and developing the ability to slow down and stay in the moment I began to reflect on what a gift the Grace of God is.  The loving kindness of the Elders, the affection of the church family, the support of Gospel partners and friends all of these hit me like a ton of bricks in these moments or reflection as tangible examples of God’s love for me.  I had always struggles receiving that reality. My time away enabled my to reflect on this unmerited favor our God has for us.  

How it will end…

Early in my time in pastoral ministry I remember telling a brother wrestling with sin that we all as God’s children return to Him, We can walk back or crawl.  I pray have come out of a season of crawling back to Him, He might grant unto me the wisdom to walk toward Him from now on.  

Rested and Ready, 

Pastor Vinnie 

¹ a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique

² Romans 12:2 (ESV) — 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Feel the Love of God Surround You

2 Corinthians 5:14–15 (ESV) — 14 For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; 15 and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

God Loves you! 

This small phrase seen on bumper stickers, t-shirts, poster board at football games, leaves most of us assuming on the love of God.  We see this as God offering himself to us, like the shy 6th grader hoping we will take him up on his offer to dance.  God’s love is seen as a passive offer we are free to take him up on at our choosing and our discretion.  

Yet the Apostle Paul paints a very different picture of the love of God in 2 Corinthians 5:14.  He describes the love of God overruling, overmastering, and holding him.  He is held in the grip of God’s love, unable and unwilling to be freed.  It is this grip of the love of God that influences Paul to act and live the way he does. It is the love of God that calls us to no longer live for ourselves and to live for Christ.  

What is our great motivator for life and worship?  The love of God seen in the death and resurrection.  As the world celebrates romantic, hallmark love, we will be taking a different look at the love of God. Enjoy the ride. 

Post in the comments below ways you have been gripped by the love of God. 

45 Years of Service

Hi I'm Pastor Ron, you know the banjo player?

I would like to share a little of my 45 years in service...so here goes the reader's digest condensed version. 

I'm a Pastor, Not a Saint!

First off I was raised from the beginning in a Christian family, went to church all my life studied the catechism and went to Sunday school classes from 1st grade all the way through high school. Pastor Mike Larsen used to call me the “Christian poster child” on how it’s supposed to be. Ha!

But let's be real, I’m a Pastor not a Saint! I wish I would have studied more on the scriptures and not have gotten lost in the music.

I started my quest towards musicianship by playing drums when I was in 6th grade. I played a baritone horn in junior high school and played the drum set for the pep rally band because none of the drummers could play a full drum set. I was 13 years old when I got my first guitar for $12.99 at the Stop n Go market on the corner by my house. My Dad told me if I showed interest, he would buy me a better guitar. So for my birthday, he bought me an electric guitar and amp for $20.00. at the pawn shop. My parents signed me up for lessons at the Park and Rec but by that time I was past that and the teacher said she couldn’t help a “rock and roll guitar player! Ha! We didn’t have internet back then, so to learn a tune you had to play a record over and over again until you learned the song….wore out a lot of record needles…I was sure I was going to be the next big rock star! (By grace my soul was bought and paid for by Jesus not some cut throat record company)

All through high school I played in various bands and various instruments. While doing that I was going to a very conservative Reformed church in which the music consisted of an organ (pipe) and piano. Which, as a lot of us know, bored a young musician to death! (Ask me today? I love it!)

So the first chance I had to play anything but that style of music I jumped on it! The “Maranatha” music scene was picking up and there was a lot of alternative Christian music coming out. My older brother had worked on his skill and had become an accomplished singer so I knew if I was going to sing with him at all, I was going to have to learn harmony skills, so I listened to every recording I could find of the best harmony singers and just sang along for hours and hours!

When I was around fifteen years old my brother and I sang for the first time in a church very foreign to ours, where you could play a guitar, and we sang “Jesus is just alright” which the doobie brothers did in 71 or 72? Which by the way, if I had to sing that song again really? Jesus is JUST alright! I should have been ashamed of singing such a song! Thank goodness God is forgiving!!

Well that did it for me, and I started playing any Christian venue I could find! Playing drums for revival meetings, singing in choirs, playing drums, guitar or bass guitar any chance I got!! My younger brothers in the meantime had become musicians and put together a youth Christian rock band so off and on I played with them. We played youth rallies and concerts all over southern California.

I had met Brenda in high school and told her that she was going to be my future wife, Yep! Started going to church with her and received a call to ministry in which I became the church's youngest Deacon and an Awana leader and sang in the choir and played for the youth kids off and on. 

“Whew”! 

From "Rockstar" to Standing on the True Rock

(Side Note) During all this I had spent three years playing drums and singing back up with a Rock band traveling all over. Playing at nightclubs and seedy places where people didn’t care about your music as long as it was loud and you played all night. I didn’t drink so I was always the designated driver. It was such an oxymoron playing to crazies at night and playing to church folk on Sundays, so eventually, it took its toll and I walked away from the Rock band and decided to pour myself into the message of a hope in Christ and his message that Christian ministry and music delivered!

I remember moving to the desert in 1984 and visiting a few churches; fell in with a Baptist church meeting at the Hesperia High school. I had gone for a couple of weeks when I approached the worship leader who was singing all by himself and asked if he needed some help and he said “what can you play?” and I said, “what do you need” so I played a couple of weeks on bass guitar and singing, when at the end of the second Sunday I played with him he handed me the songs in a file and I said “you want me to learn them?” In which he responded “No you’re the new worship leader I’m moving to Washington!” So, for the next two years I stepped into the role of worship leader at Sunridge Community Church. From there I went to Hesperia Baptist Church on 7th street. Played guitar for worship and sang with the choir - but that was short lived.

I had been all this time struggling with doctrinal issues that these churches had been preaching and just knew I had to get back to my roots after all I’m a home grown Calvinist, and was raised in the Reformed church!

So, My mother told me of a Pastor who was the Son of her distant cousin and was planting a church in Hesperia! So we visited, I fit in well, after all Pastor Roger was a Dutchman! So, we became a part of the family and have been here (except for a few, sabbaticals that’s another story!) since it’s inception.

God has called me and allowed me and blessed me to have served as Youth leader, (Pastor Vinnie was a little guy back then!) Deacon, Elder, played in worship under some great worship directors, served as worship Pastor, covered as worship leader, started and lead community groups, and, became Commissioned as a Pastor through the RCA.

God has blessed me in being able to do service for the last 45 years in all areas of ministry. While, working in a great Job for General Electric for thirty years! The road has been a bumpy winding path and a distance only God could have directed. But I would not have changed any of it!

Music has been my passion but not my gift. My gift has always been able to step in and help other ministries in times of strife and helping them to continue and succeed, but my love for reaching out to people in the hospitals or homes to be there to comfort and pray for them when they are sick or in need of comfort has always touched me the most.

Ministry is not an easy gig it takes its tolls in many ways, but I believe if you are exercising your gifts that God has ordained to you, God will always give you the strength to continue through all life’s adversities. If you take the “I” out of ministry and put the “HE” (Jesus) in it’s place and follow His lead true Joy in ministry is attainable!

Through all the ups and downs I will always be thankful to have been a part of this church family and will always be thankful that God has lead me and my family to Oasis Community Church.

P.S. We still have a lot of work to do - Amen?!!!

~ Pastor Ron