Shepherding your Family Well

Parenting and Family as Instruction | Ephesians 6:4 

Ephesians 6:1–4 (ESV) — 1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Law and Not Gospel

Some Fathers are: Harsh, mean, overbearing, intimidating, frightening and provoking.

But the biblical goal is not to crush but to cultivate into maturity of the Lord. Everything in the life of a child is ultimately the responsibility of the father along with his wife. (Education, spirituality, work ethic, vocation, social skills etc..) Other institutions (Church, school,) help and assist under the headship of the father.

Cultivate Children by Cultivating Your Soul and your Wife’s Soul 

Purpose: Restoration and Peace 

Hebrews 12:1–13 (ESV) — 1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. 4 In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” 7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. 12 Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, 13 and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.

Discipline:

Proverbs 29:17 (ESV) — 17 Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.

Discipline for delight and rest (you will pay attention to your children, now or later). 

Proverbs 3:11–12 (ESV) — 11 My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, 12 for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.

Discipline to cultivate into a spirit of self discipline.

Instruction: Purpose 

Providentially provided moments.

Proverbs 19:27 (ESV) — 27 Cease to hear instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge.

Instruct to impart knowledge - giving of or sharing in truth.

Proverbs 13:1 (ESV) — 1 A wise son hears his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.

Instruct to impart wisdom - the careful application of knowledge.

Proverbs 23:19 (ESV) — 19 Hear, my son, and be wise, and direct your heart in the way.

Instruct to impact the heart.

Practical ways to make it happen: 

Family Worship

What is the difference in your home and the non-Christian home? 

(Start small, stick with it, be realistic, have a plan, give it time, be interactive, be transparent.) 

Praying as a Family

(Bed time, dinner time, driving time, on the way to school, keep a prayer list.)

Serving as a Family

Determine if the time you're spending on good things is outweighing the time you have for Jesus. For example you may be running around with little league, sports, scouts, VBS and Sunday school and still miss Jesus in the midst. It's important to find balance here.

Journaling

Notes, thoughts, scriptures for your children 

Journey Days

( Dad and kids dates) 

Family Planned Meals

Dinner time meals and covenant go together (Jesus often gathered with others while eating and drinking.)